Marilyn's Musings review

Red in the Flower Bed

Red in the Flower Bed is a children's book with a simple message about embracing someone who is different.

A rhyming book, this would be a good book to read to pre-schoolers and has beautiful illustrations.

The author's intent is to explain about interracial adoption which she manages to do in the simplest manner.

It's the kind of book that could be a good teaching tool not only about interracial adoptions but about anyone who is not exactly like everyone else.

Having once been a pre-school teacher, I know this age group would enjoy having the book read over and over.

Marilyn

http://marilynmeredith.blogspot.com/2009/09/red-in-flower-bed-by-andrea-napa.html

Cherry Hill Public Library Event

Red in the Flower Bed
An Illustrated Children's Story about Interracial Adoption
by Andrea Nepa

Thursday, September 17, 2009
7 p.m.
Cherry Hill Public Library
1100 Kings Highway North
Cherry Hill, NJ 08034
(856) 903-1233

Interview with Grown in My Heart - An Adoption Network

Grown in My Heart - An Adoption Network,
July 24, 2009

Red In the Flower Bed: a book review
by Michelle McNally

I was recently introduced to the new children’s book, Red in the Flower Bed: An Illustrated Children’s Story about Interracial Adoption, by Andrea Nepa. This gentle, rhyming children’s story tells of a poppy seed who blows out of her original garden in search of a place to bloom and grow. It’s a sweet metaphor for an adoption placement. When reading any story about adoption, I’m alway curious to find out how the author is connected to adoption. I was fortunate enough to find out that a whole lot more when I had the opportunity to ask the author a few questions.

What inspired you to write this story as symbolic, rather than use people?

I chose a flower since it is easy to see how a flower develops from a tiny seed into a beautiful being if it receives good care, and I wanted the story to be fun for a child to read. Mostly I wanted the child to be able to identify with the seed/flower in their own way. For example, if I used an Asian child as the setting for the story, then it would mostly only appeal to Asian children.

The adoption message is clear for the adults reading the story–did you not use the word “adoption” in the story for a reason?

I purposely didn’t use the word adoption so that the child can interpret the story at his/her own pace in a way that they are ready for. A parent reading this story with their child could discuss the theme with their child to see what their understanding of their adoption is and discuss it from there.

When you decided to adopt, how did you come to chose trans-racial adoption?

We were quite open to any child when we first considered adoption, but I think we liked the idea of a foreign adoption so that the birth mother couldn’t change her mind (although a disadvantage has been that we don’t know anything about our daughter’s birth mother). Also, the process of adopting from Vietnam at the time was very quick (only 9 months), and the children are beautiful.

Did you think, at the time, that there would be unique challenges to becoming parents of a child with a different cultural background? Were there fears you had that weren’t realized or did obstacles you didn’t anticipate pop up?

Our adoption agency prepared us for these issues ahead of time, although it wasn’t a surprise to learn about the challenges of raising a child in a multi-racial family. We have always been very open with our daughter about her background and expose her to Vietnamese culture. She is proud of her background and likes to tell people that she is from Vietnam. We know many other families with adopted Asian children, so I don’t think that it seems unusual to her. I grew up with a Jewish father and Catholic mother, so I can relate to growing up in a “mixed” family, which was quite difficult for me. One thing that surprised me was how sad I was for my daughter when we flew her out of Vietnam. I felt like she was being ripped away from her homeland.

As your daughter matures, do you find the challenges of being a multi-racial family change?

Right now my daughter is only 7 1/2 years old, so there will no doubt be issues that arise when she is a teenager. So far it has been hard when she asks questions about her birth family that we don’t know the answer to, and when she sees how similar I look to my mother and twin sister I think she feels left out.

This is a story that can be read again and again, and each time, your child will be able to take a little more away from the story. With illustrations inspired by Lois Ehlert and Eric Carle (two of Nepa’s favorites), it’s bound to become a favorite on the bookshelf.

Collingswood Book Festival

Join me!

Saturday, October 3, 2009
10 a.m.-4 p.m.
Collingswood Book Festival
Haddon Avenue
Collingswood, NJ 08108
jean@collingswoodbookfestival.com

Interview with Mormon Mommy Blogs

Mormon Mommy Blogs
July 3, 2009

Red In the Flower Bed
by Jennifer Jackson

Andrea Nepa's new children’s book, Red In the Flower Bed: An Illustrated Children’s Story About Interracial Adoption fills a great void in the canon of books for transracially adopted children. While the body of "books for adopted kids" includes many wonderful books that would be a treasure on any adopted child's shelf, the presence of transracial adoptive themes are noticeably underrepresented. As I read and re-read this book (all the while picking the brain of the author), it was clear that this literary effort was certainly rooted in love.

Red In the Flower Bed tells the story of a small poppy seed and its long journey to a beautiful garden where it doesn't resemble any of the other flowers. As it grows tall and blooms, it learns that our differences are beautiful and needed - and we, the readers, take away the idea that transracial adoptive families are more complete and radiant because of those differences.

The author and her husband adopted their daughter, Leah, from Vietnam more than seven years ago. A registered dietician by trade, Ms. Nepa didn’t consider writing a children’s book until Leah was diagnosed with cancer at age five. In an interview with the blog Road to Ethiopia, the author said, "The idea started when my daughter started asking questions about her adoption, and we didn’t have the answers. One especially sad memory is her at 5 years-old sitting in a hospital bed receiving chemotherapy and asking, 'Does my birth mother know I’m here?'…Her journey as a young infant to the other side of the world and then fighting cancer seemed like a big journey for a little girl."

Though the author clearly intended this book to benefit adopted children - especially her own - it’s obvious that residual benefit resulted. I asked Ms. Nepa how the book-writing process was for her, as an adoptive parent, and she responded, "I think that writing this book has been good for me possibly because it has forced me to see adoption from my child's point of view and it has helped to define how I feel about adoption. More than anything it has allowed me to use my artistic abilities in writing and illustrating that I wouldn't normally use in my career. It has also allowed me to have more contact with other adoptive families."

Those contacts with other adoptive families that have come in the sharing of this book and through their adoption experience have also been of great benefit to the author. When I asked how those interactions have impacted her family, she replied, "We are in close contact with several of the families that we traveled to Vietnam with to adopt, and they feel like a second family to us. The kids call each other 'cousins' and know that they all came from the same orphanage… I think it is important for the kids to see that not all kids look like their parents and that families can be different from other families."

Through simple (but beautiful) illustrations, Ms. Nepa has created a subtle-yet-profound venue in which parents can open an age-appropriate dialogue with their children to answer the inevitable questions of "Why don’t I look like you?" and "How did I come to our family?" and the heartstring-tugging "Didn’t my birth mom love me?" Having a catalyst for those important conversations - in this case, for transracial families - is a valuable tool to create unity and understanding while celebrating the differences.

The idea of a seed and a flower is powerful, yet a concept that even young children can understand. The author said she chose a flower and a seed "because of several reasons: The seed blossomed into another red poppy like its birth mom to represent the fact that a child retains his/her heritage no matter where it lives…When my daughter asks what her birth mom looks like, I say 'She looks like you,' which she loves to hear."

You really can’t place enough value on the books written for kids that are about kids who are just like your kids. And while Red In the Flower Bed was intended for transracial adoptive families, it has great value for adoptive families at-large. As the mother of a Caucasian, adopted child (who is often mistakenly pegged as biological), I found this book to be an asset to our ongoing adoption dialogue - a conversation that grows and matures as our son does. And while "being adopted" is part of our everyday vernacular around these parts - and is as essential to our son's identity as his blue eyes and wide feet and monstrous cowlick - it's always refreshing to know that through such a routine activity as simply reading a book, we can maintain those lines of communication - the goal of which is to ensure our son that he is loved from more directions than he could possibly imagine.

After all, isn't it all about love?

Interview with AdoptionBlogs.com

AdoptionBlogs.com
June 18, 2009

Talking with Andrea Nepa, Author of Red In the Flower Bed
by Robyn Chittister

I was recently contacted by Tribute Books with a great opportunity - to interview Andrea Nepa, adoptive mom and author of Red in the Flower Bed: An Illustrated Children's Story about Interracial Adoption. I read the book and asked Andrea a few questions.

Andrea Nepa and her husband adopted their daughter Leah from Vietnam in 2001. Although she is a dietician, she took on the challenge of writing and illustrating a children's book for her daughter. Red in the Flower Bed was published in December 2008, and has received several positive reviews.

In the book, a seed who is unable to grow in the garden she starts it travels the world until she settles in a far off flower bed. The other flowers are anxious to see what the new flower will look like, who she will be. When the seed sprouts, she becomes a beautiful red poppy. Though there aren't any other red poppies in the garden, she and the other flowers are happy because she completes their rainbow of colors.

Now, more from Andrea herself...

RobynC: Has writing always been a favorite pastime?

Andrea Nepa: I've always loved to read, but creative writing isn't something I do all that often.

RC: When did first think about creating a children's book?

AN: I was inspired to write this story when my daughter was about 3 years old. We felt so lucky to have such a beautiful little girl from all the way on the other side of the world. Her background was a mystery to us and when she asked us questions about her birth mother we didn't know the answer. She seemed to have feelings of abandonment when she was able to understand the concept of adoption, and it was important to make her feel loved and wanted.

RC: How long did it take the idea to become reality?

AN: It took a few years to finish writing the story. I would think about it and write a little then put it away for a while. I didn't intend on illustrating it, too, but I wanted the pictures to be appealing to children and put the words into pictures. So I decided to make it look the way I wanted it, which took another year or so.

RC: The illustrations for the book are beautiful. What techniques did you use to create them?

AN: I used a collage technique for the illustrations. My favorite children's book illustrators are Eric Carle and Lois Ehlert, so I was inspired by their styles.

RC: Finally, a more personal question, because it's one I get all the time. Are you and your husband thinking about adopting again?

AN: We originally planned on having a sibling for our daughter Leah, but when we started to seriously think about adopting again she got very sick so we put things on hold. Now not only is Vietnam closed for adoptions, but we feel that at this point she would be too much older than an infant or toddler, plus we really can't afford it anyway. So that is the honest answer (I don't mind when people ask).

Interview with Road to Ethiopia Blog

Road to Ethiopia
June 16, 2009

Red in the Flower Bed
by Alicia Grinberg

I had the wonderful chance to interview the author of a children’s book about transracial adoption, Andrea Nepa. She is an adoptive parent herself, her beautiful girl is from Vietnam and is already 7 1/2 years old.

Even when there are many books about transracial adoption for adults, I wasn’t able to find any other book about that subject for children. We always wonder how are we going to explain to our children, once they are old enough, about their journey and ours, about how they became part of the family. It’s a delicate subject and each of us are trying to find a way to discuss it with the children without hurting them but also without lying to them.

Every age is different and it’s important not to say more than the child needs at each stage, more than he or she is able to understand. And we need to talk about adoption and for many of us about race too.

That’s what happened to Andrea Nepa and it is the idea behind her book at a very special time in the life of her child, when the little girl was diagnosed with cancer and many more questions about her identity were asked.

And the answers took the form of a book titled Red in the Flower Bed. The book tells about the journey of a little poppy seed that needs to go in search of a place where she can grow up.

Here is what I asked Andrea and her answers:

Can you tell us about your transracial adoption experience?

“We chose to adopt from Vietnam because we were told that young, healthy infants were available and the wait wasn’t long. We were able to choose the gender of the child we wanted, but after that it was a first come, first serve basis. We didn’t have any choice in who the child was (and no information about the birth parents or the circumstances of the adoption were known), but in many ways it seems like we were destined to have this child. From the moment I first saw photos of my daughter I couldn’t imagine any other child as mine. We went to Vietnam when she was only 4 months old to get her. As soon as she was placed in my arms at the orphanage I felt bonded to her. I can’t say it was love at first sight, but it didn’t take long. By the end of the 2 weeks that we stayed in Vietnam she seemed fully bonded to us. The opportunity to have experienced her place of birth was priceless. I remember suddenly having an intense feeling of sadness for her when we were at the airport on the way back home. It seemed like she was being ripped away from her homeland and forever separated from her birth mother. But one thing was sure: she was a beautiful baby in need of a loving home. She is now 7 1/2 years old, and we are in touch with many Asian adoptees of her age, including those in our travel group. We also attend Asian New Year celebrations through our adoption agency and other events. Her favorite restaurant is a Vietnamese restaurant near us in Philadelphia, although she enjoys many other "ethnic" foods as well!”

How did you come up with the idea of comparing a transracial adoption to the journey of a seed?

“The idea started when my daughter starting asking questions about her adoption, and we didn’t have the answers. One especially sad memory is her at 5 years old sitting in a hospital bed receiving chemotherapy and asking "Does my birth mother know I’m here?" She often expressed sadness about "missing" her birth mother, and I suspect she had a lot of feelings of abandonment, too. She had come so far away from her place of birth and had "landed" with us. It seemed like more than coincidence that she ended up being 20 minutes away from the best children’s hospital in the country, if not the world. Her journey as a young infant to the other side other world and then fighting cancer seemed like a big journey for a little girl. I chose a seed because when you adopt a child you don’t know who that child is, but end up loving him/her for whoever they become. It is wonderful seeing a child’s personality emerge as they grow up. In the story the garden flowers accepted the seed for who she was even before they knew what kind of flower she would be. I chose a flower seed because of several reasons: The seed blossomed into another red poppy like its birth mom to represent the fact that a child retains his/her identity no matter where it lives; heritage can’t be denied or ignored. When my daughter asks what her birth mom looks like I say "she looks like you", which she loves to hear. Another reason is that with love and good care the seed blossomed into her full potential, much like a child would in a good family.”

The illustrations are beautiful. What technique did you use?

“My main goal was to attract the attention of young children with colorful, eye-pleasing pictures. It’s important in children’s books for the pictures to bring the words to life. I was inspired by the collage techniques of Eric Carle and Lois Ehlert, two of my favorite children’s book illustrators.”

Are you planning to write more books?

“I think I would be more interested in illustrating another children’s book than writing one. I asked my daughter if she would like me to write a book about her hospital experience, but she said no. So I have to respect that.”

Personally I found the book very moving and it’s a beautiful and poetic way to explain a small child how he/she became a part of our “garden” and that we love him just they way he is, with his own “colors”. The identity of the child is an important part of who he is and should be protected and celebrated, not ignored and the same goes for his/her birth parents no matter the circumstances of the adoption. If you want to read more about Andrea’s story, please visit her blog, and if you want to know more about the book and see some examples the illustrations visit Tribute Books.