Interview with Children's Hope International

Children's Hope International
June 12, 2009

Interview with Andrea Nepa: Red in the Flower Bed (Children's Adoption Author)
by Jennifer Newcomb

Andrea Nepa is the author of the new adoption-themed children's book, Red in the Flower Bed. Andrea is the mother of an adopted Vietnamese daughter named Leah. She is a registered dietitian at the Children's Hospital of Philadelphia. Red in the Flower Bed is for recommended for readers ages 6-8. This interview was conducted over email in June 2009. Thank you for sharing, Andrea!

1. When and why did you begin writing Red in the Flower Bed?

When my daughter was 4 months old we brought her home from Vietnam. She understood from an early age that she was adopted, and sometimes would cry that she missed her birth mother. She would also ask questions that we didn't have the answer to, as we were not given any info. as to who her birth parents were or why she was given up. Her saddness and my inability to answer her questions was inspiration for writing this story. I started writing it when she was about 3 or 4, and from time to time I would work on it. The story just wouldn't leave me. Then just when she turned 5 years old she was diagnosed with Ewings sarcoma, a rare form of childhood bone cancer. (After major surgery and 8 months of chemotherapy she has now been in remission for 2 years). The concept of the seed's journey took on even more significance, as it seemed that she had already journeyed very far (both literally and figuratively) for a little girl. She was taken from her birth place half way around the world as an infant and then fought cancer a few years later. Furthermore, I couldn't help wondering if she had "landed" in the right place, as we live only 20 minutes away from the best children's hospital in the country, if not the world. I also happened to work there. It seemed more than coincidence that she ended up with us.

2. In Red in the Flower Bed, the poppy seed flower is beautiful but does not look like the other flowers in the family garden. Although it is not mentioned in the text directly, this story is an illustration of interracial adoption. How old is your daughter now and how does she react when you read your book to her?

I deliberately did not use the word adoption in the story so that the reader can interpret the book in their own way at their own pace according to their age level. My daughter is now 7 1/2 years old. She loves the idea that I wrote a book and asked me to read it to her second grade class and is hoping that I will end up on TV! Her favorite page is the last page with the rainbow. I think she interprets this to mean that she is wanted and needed in our family, even though she does not look like us and is not a birth child like most of her friends. She also seems to be comforted by the mother poppy being sad, as it helps her feel that she wasn't just thrown away by her birth mother. Also, I made the seed turn into a red poppy flower like its birth flower, since when my daughter asks what her birth mom looks like I can say with some confidence "she looks like you", which she loves to hear. She is proud of her Vietnamese background and always answers that she is from Vietnam whenever someone asks where she is from (even if they just mean what state). I hope that she will never feel ashamed of looking different from her family or classmates. In this story the seed retains its identity no matter where it lands since its heritage can't be ignored or denied. Note that the garden flowers accepted the seed for who she was even before they knew what kind of flower she would be. The seed blossomed into her full potential because she was given the care and love she needed.

3. What are some good questions / statements an adopting parent might add to this story to further relate to their child?

Questions to prompt the child to think about the story could include: Why do you think this story is called Red in the Flower Bed? Even though the poppy did not look like the other flowers in the garden, was she still part of its family? Who did she look like? What did the seed need to grow in the garden? Do all flowers need this? How was the garden changed by the poppy flower?

4. Can you explain the choices made in the illustration technique?

My main goal was to attract the attention of young children with colorful, eye-pleasing pictures. In children's books it's important for the pictures to bring the words to life. I was inspired by the art techniques of Eric Carle and Lois Ehlert, two of my favorite children's book artists. One adult reader commented that the collage style using different prints makes that point that "we are all one and can come together to form a single family".

5. Do you have anything specific that you want to say to your readers?

I think that it's important to accept your child unconditionally for who they are, and to acknowledge your child's place of birth and heritage. It will always be a part of them. It is also important to respect your child's desire to know their background. It is their right to know. Allow them to talk about it and ask questions, even if you don't know the answer. Be honest.

Interview with the Extraordinary Mom's Network Blog

Extraordinary Moms Network
May 29, 2009

Special Book for Adoptive Families
by Heidi Saxton

The book I’d like to review today is entitled Red in the Flower Bed, by Andrea Nepa (Tribute Books). Andrea is an adoptive mother of a little girl from Vietnam, and I had the pleasure of asking her a few questions about her book:

1. Tell me a bit about your international adoption story.

Our adoption journey began when we went to Vietnam to get our daughter when she was 4 months old. We stayed there for 2 weeks, which was an incredible way to get to know a little bit about her place of birth. We loved watching her spunky personality emerge as she grew. Our biggest challenge so far was when she was diagnosed with Ewings sarcoma, a rare pediatric bone cancer, at the age of 5. (After major surgery and 8 months of chemo, she has now been in remission for 2 years).

She understood from an early age that she was adopted and sometimes would cry that she missed her birth mother. Her mourning and my inability to answer her questions about her adoption (we were not given any info. as to who her biological parents were or even the circumstances of her being given up) was part of my inspiration to write this story. Plus, I felt that somehow perhaps she was meant to be with us, since we live only 20 minutes away from the best children’s hospital in the country, if not the world.

2. What advice would you give parents who adopt an older child, and run into difficulties parenting that child — if the “flower” has difficulty fitting in their particular garden?

You have to acknowledge and respect the child’s cultural heritage no matter what age they are adopted at. The idea isn’t necessarily for the flower to have to fit in to the garden, but for the flower and garden to complement each other with their differences. It is no doubt much harder for an older child to adjust to a new family in a new culture than for a very young child. Ideally, the child should be accepted by their family unconditionally for who they are and not have to live up to expectations for the kind of person they “should” be. The garden flowers accepted the seed for who she was before they knew what kind of flower she would be. Also, I believe that parents need to be flexible in adapting to the personality of their child (whether or not they are adopted, but of course this is just my opinion!).

3. The image of “seed” can be a loaded one for some adoptive families, especially those whose children come from neglectful or abusive backgrounds. The suggestion is that — no matter what you do to raise the child, all he is and will ever be is already determined in the “seed.” How would you respond to this?

The seed retains its identity no matter where it lands, since its heritage can’t be denied and shouldn’t be ignored. Looking different is not something to be ashamed of. In the story the seed thrived and blossomed into a healthy, beautiful flower because it was given the love and care it needed. Superficially the poppy looks like her birth flower, but also in a good environment she is allowed to reach her full potential. Likewise, a child who experiences an abusive home will likely be influenced in a negative way. This is one good reason to adopt a needy child! All children deserve a loving home.

4. What do you say to grown international adoptees who long to know more about their roots, but don’t know how to begin?

I don’t have direct experience with this, but from an adoptive parent’s perspective I will say that it is important to be honest with your child as much as possible even if this means saying “I don’t know”. The child should not be made to feel guilty about asking questions about their past; it’s their right to know. The only question that my daughter asks that I can honestly answer with some confidence is when she wants to know what her birth mother looks like. She loves to hear “she looks like you”. This is another reason why I made the seed turn out as a red poppy like its mother flower. In terms of dealing with adoption issues, it is important for adoptees to have contact with other adoptees.

Recommended by Adoptions from the Heart

Adoptions from the Heart
Book Review
by Heidi Gonzalez

Red in the Flower Bed: A Story About Inter-racial Adoption by Andrea Nepa - Written by one of AFTH's families, this abstract story is about a small poppy seed that makes a long journey to find itself in a garden with other flowers that don't look anything like the beautiful red poppy the seed grows into. It is a story of acceptance and teaches that you don't have to look the same to fit in. It's a good way to introduce the topic of diversity to children.

People on the Move

The Valley Advantage
February 20, 2009

People on the Move

Andrea Nepa is the author of the book "Red in the Flower Bed," which explains the interracial adoption process for young readers. Andrea lives with her adopted daughter Leah and her husband, David in Haddonfield, NJ. David is originally from Archbald and graduated from Valley View and the University of Scranton. His father, Felix Nepa, is a resident of Archbald.

More Reviews

'A poppy by any other name..., January 25, 2009 By Grady Harp (Los Angeles, CA United States) RED IN THE FLOWER BED is a storybook for children and grownups alike, a charming extended rhyming poem that tells the story of a seed that drops frrm a poppy flower onto ground too hard for it to grow and thus begins a journey through nature's seasons and climes, carrying the wandering seed to a family garden where the seed drops by the grace of seasons and climate changes and grows into the bright red poppy - the missing addition to a garden longing to have all the colors of the rainbow. It is a simple tale but one rich in meaning and a subtle but poignant statement about interracial adoption. Part of the beauty of this book is the choice of illustration. Since a separate illustrator has not been named, we can only assume that the poet, Andrea Nepa, has provided the colorful accompaniments. Her selection of using collage - using pieces of paper from a wide assortment of resources - enhances the book's message: we are all one and can come together despite our varied backgrounds and form a single entity of a family. This is a lovely little book that can be either appreciated as a story of nature's taking care of her elements, or as a warm statement about interracial adoption. A very nice touch! Grady Harp, January 09 Adorable Story, January 21, 2009 By Sandra Heptinstall "Reviewer" (Louisiana, USA) What an adorable book on interracial adoption. The only problem I had was, if it had not been for the cover, I would not of known it was a book about interracial adoption. We follow a poppy seed along it's journey until it finds a place to land. It is cared for and flourishes in a garden filled with many beautiful flowers. It grows into a beautiful red poppy. The red poppy completes the color that is needed to create a perfect rainbow of colors. While this book is about adoption, it also applies to life in general. We all want to belong and to be loved by others. Especially children who have no family, or the ones who are of a different race. Color is what you see, and often times a childs heart and soul is never seen. There are times no one looks into a childs eyes to see what lays there. The fear and the longing to belong. I applaud all of you out there who see a child for what they are and not for the color of their skin. I honestly have no choice in my mind and heart, but to give this book a five star rating. Whispering Winds Book Reviews A wonderful tribute to a blessed event., January 31, 2009 By Robert Muir (Robbinsville, NJ United States) With simple eloquence and beautiful illustrations, this wonderful children's story describes the core or interracial adoption. This a terrific book for any family or a great gift for a friend adopting. Red In A Flower Bed, January 30, 2009 By Leonard Braunstein (Concord, NH) As parents of an adopted grandchild, we sure welcome the interracial adoption story by Andrea Nepa. While our granddaughter is a loving, affectionate child, every once in a while she does question why would someone "just give her up/abandon her?" Andrea Nepa managed to explain this difficult and complex aspect of adoption in simple terms that are easy for the child to relate to. We are sure happy to have come across this story. Sincerely, Len and Mira Braunstein, both psychologists; Concord, N.H. The subtitle is not obvious, yet it is still a good book about diversity, January 15, 2009 By Charles Ashbacher "(cashbacher@yahoo.com)" (Marion, Iowa United States(cashbacher@yahoo.com)) The subtitle of this book is "An Illustrated Children's Story About Interracial Adoption", but it is hard to discern that part of the story. It is about a poppy seed that falls from the flower and drifts with the wind until it lands in a garden. Once it germinates and grows into a flower it finds itself inside a garden containing all types of flowers and it feels happy to be a part of such a diverse family. It is a red poppy and all the other flowers welcome the color because it completes the rainbow. While an adult can see the theme of interracial adoption after being told that is what the story is about, it is not self-evident. Nevertheless, it is a nice story about the fundamentals of belonging and accepting differences, one that teaches children a valuable lesson about accepting and appreciating those that are different from us and that come from different places. "A Story About Interracial Adopotion" , March 11, 2009 By Debra Gaynor "ReviewYourBook.com" Red in the Flower Bed Written by: Andrea Nepa Published by: Tribute Reviewed by: Stephanie Rollins for ReviewYourBook.com 3/2009 ISBN: 13: 978-0-9814619-9-1 "A Story About Interracial Adopotion" 5 stars In simple terms, Nepa explains why some children who are adopted do not look like their family. The focus is on interracial adoptions, but any adopted child who does not feel they look like their adoptive parents will benefit from this book. Nepa explains that as a seed is carried with the wind to settle in fertile soil, a child sometimes is taken to another family to fully blossom. The illustrations are simple and child-like. They are very appropriate for this right-on-point book. This is the perfect introduction to a difficult topic. It is appropriate for the toddler years through elementary school. Red in the Flower Bed book review by Katie Hines, March 16, 2009 By katiebug57 "katiebug57" - BOOK REVIEW by Katie Hines This beautifully illustrated book about interracial adoption follows the story of a poppy seed that couldn't thrive and grow in its host environment. Through a journey, the poppy seed comes to rest, grow and blossom in a flower bed where there were other flowers of different types. Just as a child is incorporated with joy into a new adoptive home, so was this poppy welcomed and allowed to thrive and grow in her new home of rainbow flowers. The book treats the subject of interracial adoption with tender, loving gentleness. A must read with your adopted, biracial child. very subtle reference to adoption, June 29, 2009 By Tammy "landon's mom" (nc) The idea of adoption is very subtle in this book but I find it to be a very easy way to introduce the idea of family diversity to a little one.

Mother explains interracial adoption with book

The Abington Journal
February 4, 2009

Tribute Books announces the release of “Red in the Flower Bed” by Andrea Nepa. The picture book explains the interracial adoption process for young readers. Nepa is an adoptive mother. She adopted her daughter, Leah, from Vietnam in 2001.

Above, author Andrea Nepa and daughter Leah.

The book tells the journey of adoption depicted with the comforting imagery of a poppy flower who is welcomed into a garden family. It is a charming story of “seeds” being planted in the perfect place - exactly where they belong. The book’s loving approach helps children to understand adoption.

The book has already received a lot of positive attention.

“What a charming story of ‘seeds’ being planted in the perfect place, exactly where they belong,” said LeAnn Thieman, co-author of “Chicken Soup for the Adopted Soul.”To order “Red in the Flower Bed” or for more information visit http://www.tribute-books.com/minicart/products.html